Dear Daddy,
This weekend I was talking with Ryan about you. I didn't think so at the time, but I realize now that he was right. I am not over your death. And it hit me kinda suddenly today while I was driving to a job interview. I don't know what set it off, but I started to realize that he was right. I didn't get overly upset about it. I didn't want to be upset during the interview so I held it all in.
Everyone keeps telling me that I am the strong one and Joe is the emotional one. But I don't find that to be true. I just refuse to show my emotions in front of Mom since she is so emotional and I can't handle that.
I can't figure out why it annoys me that everyone else keeps saying that i am strong, i guess it's hard to live up to those expectations. Or why it frustrates me that others aren't over it. I find myself shutting people out when they show emotion over you. I know that is wrong but that is how it makes me feel.
I'm not over it. I just hold it in. And I think it is getting harder to hold in. I started to get very upset over the weekend. I just couldn't stop crying. So much is bothering me, its not just you. It doesn't make sense. I should be happy, after all I have Ryan now and he is wonderful to me. But it seems like everything else is falling apart. I'm sick. My job sucks. I have no money. It just is bad right now for me. I don't know. Sometimes I am glad that you aren't here cause you wouldn't be proud of me. I don't know. I just want to be successful...I just can't succeed at that.
Love,
Daughter
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Not Ready for Some Football
Dear Daddy,
I missed you on Super Bowl Sunday. We usually watched the game together and even if I wasn't there you would always call the next night to talk about it. I missed our conversation at dinner the next day about our favorite commercials.
I cried on Super Bowl Sunday before I went to the party because I really missed you. I was lucky that I had someone who cares about me there to give me a big hug and make me feel better.
I did wind up having a good time at the party, but I still wish that you were there.
Steelers won, by the way. I hope that you watched it from heaven.
Love you,
Daddy's Little Girl
I missed you on Super Bowl Sunday. We usually watched the game together and even if I wasn't there you would always call the next night to talk about it. I missed our conversation at dinner the next day about our favorite commercials.
I cried on Super Bowl Sunday before I went to the party because I really missed you. I was lucky that I had someone who cares about me there to give me a big hug and make me feel better.
I did wind up having a good time at the party, but I still wish that you were there.
Steelers won, by the way. I hope that you watched it from heaven.
Love you,
Daddy's Little Girl
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